You are more than your title

People tend to have very particular ideas about who priests are and what we do. While I suppose this is true of many professions it seems that the term priest- or minister for that matter- conjures up very specific – and limited, images.

Perhaps there was a time when priests went to have tea with dear Mrs. Mcgillicutty and stopped in at the children’s home on their way to the rectory for lunch. I envision a man (always a man) in a starched white collar sitting in an empty church, bible open to the psalms, contemplating the dour judgement of God, half expecting to be interrupted by a passer-by in spiritual crisis. Once a month he would attend an evening meeting with the elders of the church and listen to their reports about how many people took home communion, how many wafers had been used, who had agreed to cut the grass and how much money had been received. He would then retire to the rectory next door and pray for the well being of the parish.

Perhaps this describes days gone by. Or may be not. But if it ever was like that let me assure you things have changed.

The time for a drop in tea has been replaced with creating a marketing campaign on social media for upcoming events. Dropping in at the children’s home is now the time for arguing with the church school ladies about moving from simple crafts towards actually having the children in a church service once a month. Silent bible study has been replaced by committee meetings deemed necessary by the bishop and those in spiritual crisis? Well. They have to make an appointment.

I don’t know when the shift happened. Perhaps it isn’t as stark as it is in my imagination. But it is true that the expectations put on priests are much more professional and require a lot more expertise than in days gone by. And yet folks still envision a fire and brimstone preacher in the pulpit but a jovial, agreeable soul in a starched white collar on the weekdays who is always available for a little prayer time.


In days gone by I would rail against the stereotypes. On occasion, when out with friends, I would choose one aspect of my job as a way of introducing myself. One aspect was as true as any other and I could unapologetically say that’s what I did for a living.

For instance.
Counselor
Volunteer coordinator
Motivational speaker
Head of finance
Property manager
Group facilitator
Teacher
Executive director of a non profit
Writer
Human resource professional
Trauma response worker
Death and dying doula
Grounds keeper
Event promoter
Fundraiser
Social media expert

My favourite was “property manager". Toilet plunging on a Sunday morning after the Girl Guide troupe had an activity that apparently involved stuffing the toilets with paper towels was clearly covered in my contract under “and other duties as assigned.” When I introduced myself as any one of these things I could breathe a little easier and not feel so defensive about who I am and I enjoyed my little façade. I could speak confidently about any one of these roles because I was all of them.

It took me a long time to stop thinking of myself as “just a priest". Even I had an image of days in prayer contemplating Jesus when in reality that was about 5% of my job. I got caught up in the specificity of my university degree without considering that it is, in fact, a Masters level degree from one of the top universities in the world and that it has intrinsic value all on it’s own.

In the months leading up to my resignation I began to pluck out my actual duties – those that have value outside of the walls of the church – and list them. What followed was a resume that is skills based and not simply a chronology of my work experience. It allowed me to highlight not just my professional experience since earning my degree but also what I learned from having my own successful business in the 90’s as a Case Manager for individuals with ABI.

I am a priest. Even though I am no longer employed in a church it is who I am at my very core. However, I needed to move away from seeing myself in the very limited way that others do and expand those images to include all of those other aspects of who I am and what I’ve learned. Much of what I learned was out of necessity and was like drinking from a fire hose as I gobbled up everything I could about something new and found a way to get it done.

I have had two responses from executive search firms commenting on my “intriguing and unique qualifications" for the positions to which I’ve applied.

I am grateful for the friends and professionals who helped me to see myself more fully. I hope that if you are reading this you might take some time to do the same. And for my friends and colleagues still ministering in congregations know that I have to utmost respect for you. Perhaps if I had been able to see myself as more than “just a parish priest" when I was working I might have been able to settle in to my role more comfortably. You are more than your title. Own that.