Again and again, crying on the rooftop and Praying for the Peace of Jerusalem

Again and again this land calls me to it, beckoning me to come from my comfortable home and my nice safe life and again and again this land breaks my heart.

Nothing is for certain here.  Unrest stemming from years of hatred and mistrust rears its ugly head at unexpected times and in unexpected places.  Six years have passed since I last sat on this roof overlooking the city with tears in my eyes, broken hearted and defeated.  Six years have passed since the conflict between the Palestinians and the Israeli's last changed my plans and broke my heart and yet here I am again, crying for the pain of this land.

Everything was set.  I was to drive to Nablus to meet Osama's mother Suad at her home where I would be an honoured guest.  I imagine that since my call yesterday she had been preparing for my arrival, cleaning and tidying and baking treats to offer.  It is not ofter that someone from the West pays a visit to a Palestinian home.  I had arranged for my driver, Bahsara, who would also help with translation and we were to leave the College at 2.00.  And yet again, as it was six years ago, a simple phone call changed my plans.

Bashera called to tell me that very early this morning some Palestinians went into the Israeli settlement and killed five people.  I cannot judge such an action as I do not know what the local Palestinian people are feeling and now I might never know.  There will surely be retaliation, there will surely be more bloodshed all in the name of rights to some land.  I promised my family that I would remain safe while I was here and so I had to call Suad and share the bad news.

I cannot come, I told her, it is not safe for me.  She is sad, she says, that I cannot come.  Will you come again, she asks?  May be next year I say.  I don't imagine that anything will be better by morning, my last chance to visit.  Are you safe, I ask her?  She tells me yes and I pray that's true.  I pray that only those who wish to "die for a cause" are injured in this fight.  I pray that all of those who are innocent, who want only to live their lives, will be spared the gunfire and the bloodshed.

Again and again I am called to this place that raises my spirit and breaks my heart.  Again and again I find myself here on this roof, crying, and praying for the peace of Jerusalem..